Blended families have a slow progression and the journey towards a happy family may encounter some challenges. Things are difficult, both for children and parents and many of them become frustrated when they see that their new family is not like their previous one. To build a happy blended family, you have to find the right balance between love, respect, and discipline. The guidelines offered in this article will help you create a harmonious home environment, where everyone feels happy and relaxed.
Bonding with your new family
Developing a positive relationship with your stepchildren it’s a good start if you want to be welcomed into the family. Learning more about the children’s basic needs and desires will help you establish a great bond. All children want to feel safe and secure and to be able to count on their parents and step-parents. They also want to see your affection, so you can slowly show them a gradual devotion process. Additionally, they all want to have a recognized role in the family and take part in making decisions. Therefore, if you respect their needs, they will surely become more open in building a relationship with you.
Support children through the transition period
Moving from one house to another or receiving strangers into their own house may be difficult for children. The transition days can be very disturbing and tough, therefore, small incidents can happen and will unsettle the children. They may start to cry and say a lot of unpleasant things that will hurt you. A very good advice is not to take it too personally and instead, find a way to listen and talk to them. In time, children will get used to the idea that their life has changed.
Focus on individual relationships
You may be eager to act like a new happy family, but it’s better to take things slowly and focus on the individual relationship. In order to do that, you have to spend time alone with your stepchildren and do things together. This is a great opportunity to find common interests and set the foundation between you and them, with just a little effort.
Let them enough room
Letting them be themselves and not interfering in matters that are not your concern will definitely help you gain their respect. One of the biggest mistakes most stepparents do is that when they attempt to gain respect, they may exaggerate and over-discipline the child. Soon the child will get to despise you and you may never get the chance to recreate a normal relationship. Offer them space, so that they make their own decisions and allow their primary parent to discipline them. Then, after you earn their affection and respect, try to guide and educate them.
Don’t forget about your marriage
Couples with children tend to get more preoccupied with their own kids than with each other. There is absolutely no doubt that you have to focus your attention on your children, but you also have to build a powerful marital bond. This is the main reason why you’re all together in the first place, so a healthy marriage will bring benefits for everyone. If the children raise surrounded by love and respect, they will be less nervous and reserved and will learn to be more like what they see. In order to make your marriage stronger, you can go for regular dates, go to the cinema or do together the things that you love.